Carl Sagan Visited Me in a Dream
Last night, I had a dream where I applied to live in Carl Sagan’s house for a week. Apparently, there was some sort of program where one could do this, pay a nominal fee, and live in Carl Sagan’s seaside home.
I arrived at the house to find it in disarray—messy. The house was supposed to be cleaned after each visit in preparation for the new tenant, but it had not been. It was like the program was losing funding. I sat in the house for a while, then suddenly, Carl Sagan walked in. He was in a dress shirt and jeans, and was sweat-drenched. He told me that since the house was built partially on beach side, a harsh inland tide was beginning to flood the floors. He’d been working outside all day to drain the ocean water from the sandy foundation.
I offered to help. He brought me outside, and showed me a long thin iron pipe that rose straight up from a hole in the sand. The pipe bent at a 90 degree angle and extended horizontally a few feet, suspended above the ground at about waist-height. At the end of the pipe was an industrial turn-crank. Carl showed me how to turn the crank, which in turn drained water from the foundation of the house and caused the flood waters to recede. There was an identical pipe-crank-drainer device a few feet away from him, and I started to work on this one. It was really hard to turn the crank and drain the water. Eventually, I stopped turning the crank on my device. Because of the pressure I’d built up, the entire pipe device instead swiveled in the opposite direction, and pinned itself against Carl’s chest. He cried out, and ocean water poured out from underneath the back porch door and down the cement steps like a waterfall.
Carl chastised me, and I redoubled my efforts. This time, when I turned the crank, I turned it too hard, and the metal piping just gave, twisting and bending, as if I didn’t have enough leverage. I tried to untwist the piping before Carl saw, but he noticed anyway. He stopped working, smiled, then went to the drain base of my device, readjusted it, and showed me how to turn the crank effectively. We worked together from then on, draining the ocean water from the house.
This is how I learned to correctly masturbate in reverse.
