These Things Happened in Mission Impossible IV

  • Ethan Hunt turns off every plane in flight with a Bluetooth
  • A building turns into a robot and then runs down a freeway
  • A car smashes into a wall which smashes into a freeway which smashes into another car which smashes into the Kremlin which smashes into the Moon
  • Jeremy Renner throws a super-sonic hammer through a troop of boy scouts
  • A gorgeous woman in a dress breaks the necks of 417 soldiers of fortune
  • A BMW with a warhead in it hits the Sun
  • Ethan Hunt laughs as the ocean evaporates
  • Two spies punch each other so hard that their fists meld with each other’s heads
  • A computer flies into the internet and explodes and then the internet explodes inside the Kremlin
  • Tom Wilkinson’s body demonstrates String Theory
  • Ethan Hunt eats the tallest building in the world in 14 seconds and then ziplines onto a moving F-22 Raptor that is loaded with missiles in the shape of Audi A6’s
  • A Russian spy kicks a train and the train hits Ethan Hunt in the back while he’s trying to tell Simon Pegg to stop almost blowing the mission
  • Mumbai explodes
  • Jeremy Renner’s backstory is fired out of a dart gun into a man’s mouth but then it’s revealed that the man’s head is a computer 
  • The bad guy fights his own three-piece suit and the suit is on fire
  • A security camera kisses Jeremy Renner to avoid blowing cover in the midst of many bullets being fired at other bullets
  • A French model assassinates the cardinal direction of North
  • Two hotels are turned upside down and shaken violently
  • Jeremy Renner has a single tear of nitroglycerine and he gives it to Ethan Hunt who wipes it on the side of a speeding helicopter and then winks at it to make the helicopter do a cartwheel at 70 G’s
  • Everyone in IMF gets new iPhone 4GS’s for Christmas
  • Christmas is disavowed and then exploded while it sits inside a prison cell on top of a satellite in space
  • It’s revealed that Ving Rhames’ character from the first Mission Impossible is now homeless

All these things happened in Mission Impossible IV

26 Notes

  1. attentiondoozers reblogged this from chriscantwell
  2. vamosvideo said: uh, spoiler alert please.
  3. bradc reblogged this from chriscantwell
  4. barelytolerable said: I love that everyone is referred to by their acting names, including Ethan Hunt, whose most impossible mission to date has been playing Tom Cruise.
  5. ialreadydontlikeyou reblogged this from chriscantwell
  6. aerostarmonk reblogged this from chriscantwell and added:
    This sounds like...with less doves.
  7. mundy reblogged this from chriscantwell
  8. chriscantwell posted this